By John Harrington

Pieta House really couldn’t have picked a better ambassador than Tyrone footballer, Ronan McNamee, to be their ambassador for the 2023 Electric Ireland Darkness into Light fundraiser.

On May 6th 100,000 people will come together across 200 locations at sunrise as communities across Ireland rally to bring hope to people who have been impacted by suicide.

McNamee has travelled his own personal journey from darkness into light. His mental health suffered badly for a couple of years until he eventually felt he had no way out other than to take his own life.

Thankfully his attempt to do so in early 2016 failed, and that dark experience was ultimately a life-changing one.

He got the help he needed and in 2019 spoke bravely about his experience in an interview with the Irish News.

It was something he was very nervous about doing, but speaking publicly about a challenging time in his life ultimately proved to be cathartic not just for him, but inspirational for many others too.

“When I did that interview I was completely inundated with messages after," says McNamee. "There's no way of comprehending how much it blew up for me.

“The reason I didn't speak about it was because I thought it would be a pity party in a way, hence you don't bother. It was the complete opposite. The amount of positivity that I got from it and the amount of people that reached out saying that they had their own problems and could relate to mine was rewarding in a way.

“So there was a lot of positivity that came from it and I feel that it probably did help a lot of people. If it helped one it would have been worth it, but I feel like from the messages I received it helped a lot of people.

“It's probably something that I wouldn't say I'm comfortable speaking about still. The position that I was in, it's not the proudest time of my life. Addressing it isn't easy still. I feel like the more I do, the easier it will probably become."

McNamee’s story is a typical one. Many young men find it difficult to talk about their troubles, and perhaps that’s even more so for young sportsmen who are drilled into thinking that showing anything that might be perceived to be weakness is a bad thing.

“Yeah, I feel that whenever you're playing any sort of game or match that you put on a good face to see yourself through it,” he says.

“It could be lonely then in the down time that individual might have. It could be the 60 or 70 minutes when they're getting away from their proper problems.

“For me personally, football was a release in a way. But you can't play football for 24 hours a day, so ultimately you were cornering yourself into a bad spot without addressing it.

“The only reason I did address it was because I had completely cornered myself. It wasn't because I had made a decision to, I had no other option but to sort it out.”

McNamee worried that when he did tell his story some people would use it as a stick to beat him with, but instead the reaction was universally positive both on and off the pitch.

“I didn't get any flak or shit from it,” he says. “I had that feeling in my head that people would deem me a pity party and hence why I didn't address it publicly before that interview.

“You know how people are, especially on social media. Some man on twitter, tinhat123, would have plenty to say about what your opinions are and what you're going through and they might not be brave enough to give their own name.

“The likes of that always sat in my head until I got to a stage where you don't really care. The only thing I ever got on the field afterwards was positive from opposition. You know, 'fair play to you', and stuff like that, to be honest.”

That’s why his message to others who are struggling is a simple one – talking helps.

By his own admission he still has a way to go on that journey, but he’s already learned that sharing what’s inside your head rather than bottling it up is the road to a healthier, happier life.

“Probably the fact that what I deemed to be massive issues weren't,” says McNamee when asked what the main benefits of talking about his problems were.

“Whenever you address them and looked at them, they weren't problems. They were massive problems in my head, but when you see where other people might be in terms of not having any real grievances at all then you have to look at it from a different point of view.

“I went to counselling and I was also sitting down with Mickey Harte often, like once a week, and you'd be chatting and maybe have a coffee.

“I remember him saying to me one time that it's none of my business what other people think of me. I was just fixated on other people...were they judging you? You were always worried about the opinions of other people. That was probably the worst part of it.

“I remember he said that and when you sort of stripped it back and thought about it, it made a lot of sense.

“You were just taking too much on in regards to worrying and trying to keep other people happy instead of looking after number one.”

Each year, Darkness Into Light helps raise essential funds and enables Pieta to continue providing free of charge suicide prevention, intervention and bereavement support to people of all ages across Ireland. Last month, Electric Ireland extended is sponsorship of Darkness Into Light for another three years up to 2025.

To sign up to this year’s event, visit www.darknessintolight.ie #DIL2023 #BrighterTogether